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September 2007  

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01:09am 29/01/2007
Oh, my. I'm having such a sad evening, and don't really even know why. I started this afternoon sad. Couldn't stop crying; thinking of Jerry and being mad at anyone who's never lost someone they love. Then got busy doing drawings for tattoo appt tomorro, and felt a little okay for awhile. Then got sad all over again. I really should go to bed instead of sitting here feeling sad for no apparent reason.

I'm making a playlist. It contains these songs so far:

Iris -Goo Goo Dolls
Blood and Fire -Indigo Girls
Ghost -Indigo Girls
Reunion -Indigo Girls
Diamonds And Rust -Joan Baez
Simple Twist of Fate -Joan Baez
Spider Web -Joan Osborne
Crazy Baby -Joan Osborne
Other Side of the World -KT Tunstall
Universe & U -KT Tunstall
Heal Over -KT Tunstall
Precious Pain -Melissa Etheridge
I Will Never Be The Same -Melissa Etheridge
Just A Girl -No Doubt
Don't Miss You at All -Nora Jones
Misery -Pink Feat. Steven Tyler
Maybe Angels -Sheryl Crow
Many Rivers to Cross -Toni Childs
I Want to Walk With You -Toni Childs
The Dead are Dancing -Toni Childs
The Woman's Boat -Toni Childs
A Sorta Fairytale -Tori Amos
At This Point In My Life -Tracy Chapman
The Promise -Tracy Chapman

I love this list. I have more to add, it's a work in process.

-Indigo Girls

There's a letter on the desktop
That i dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to
In our adolescent war
And i start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams

And the mississippi's mighty
But it starts in minnesota
At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down
And i guess that's how you started
Like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me
And i start to drown

And there's not enough room
In this world for my pain
Signals cross and love gets lost
And time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits
I need you the most
I'm in love with your ghost
I'm in love with your ghost

Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush
(don't tell a soul)
When i wake the things i dreamt about you
Last night make me blush
(don't tell a soul)
And you kiss me like a lover
Then you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river
Play your memory like a piper

And i feel it like a sickness
How this love is killing me
I'd walk into the fingers
Of your fire willingly
And dance the edge of sanity
I've never been this close
I'm in love with your ghost

Unknowing captor
You never know how much you
Pierce my spirit
But i can't touch you
Can you hear it
A cry to be free
Oh i'm forever under lock and key
As you pass through me

Now i see your face before me
I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips
As i burn up in your presence
And i know now how it feels
To be weakened like achilles
With you always at my heels

This bitter pill i swallow
Is the silence that i keep
It poisons me i can't swim free
The river is too deep
Though i'm baptized by your touch
I am no worse than most
In love with your ghost

You are shadowing my dreams
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)
location: living room
music: playlist esongs
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